I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
