you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
