At least make sure they are 18
Why
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
