Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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