I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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