Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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