I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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