i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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