what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
