Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
