is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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