u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize