Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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