So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
