So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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