ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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