he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
