I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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