Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Come share oat with me in your robe
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
