I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
