I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
