Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
