today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
