so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
