I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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