True but thats because hes a fetus.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
