Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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