after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Someone shattered a urinal.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
