So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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