Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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