Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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