I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
