i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
