she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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