Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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