i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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