My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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