Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
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Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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