NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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