I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
