My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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