I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Are we still banned from the library?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
