you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
