Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
