i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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