help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
