Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I will pee on everything he values.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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