Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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