I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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