I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
