Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I didn't notice because vodka
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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