Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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