I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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