make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
