So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
