She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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