We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
