So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
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level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
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Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
why is half of my head shaved?
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