guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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