it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize