so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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