Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
