i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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