While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize